When we last saw our heroine (ie me), she was going through a box of Kleenex every two hours and generally feeling miserable. Well, about twelve hours after that, she decided it was time to call in the reinforcements.
I couldn’t get in to see my regular doctor, which was disappointing, but not surprising. When you have an awesome doctor and “something’s going around”, that’s the way it goes. So I called the local walk-in clinic and got an appointment there. I’d never been to the clinic before, but I figured my faucet face and rattling lungs could speak for themselves, and I could testify to the fatigue, fever, and horrendous muscle aches.
The first thing I saw before I even got to the waiting room was a sign strongly encouraging anyone with cold or flu-like symptoms to please don a complimentary face mask. Well, most of the time, I’m a do-as-I’m-told girl in these situations, and I didn’t want to make anyone else sick, either, so on the mask went! Of course, when I reached the waiting room full of sniffling people, I realized that others were much more rebellious than me.
Am at medical clinic and wearing face mask as instructed by sign, “ I tweeted. “Am only one. Looking ridiculous for my fellow man: priceless.”
You know me — I desperately wanted to whip out my camera and record the moment for posterity’s sake, but it was a little too public.
More and more people came in. “No one wants to sit near me. Mask = instant social pariah. Interesting social experiment to amuse me while I wait.”
Often I kill time in waiting rooms by making silly faces at the nearest baby. Well, I realized that the nearest baby couldn’t see half my face, and that my eyes aren’t nearly as good at expressing my emotions as I’d like. In short, the baby started screeching. Hats off to the cast of Grey’s Anatomy, since they’re obviously much better at this than I am!
Fortunately the receptionist called my name and I headed into an examination room. I was admiring the large, bright windows when it suddenly dawned on me to take the picture for the blog! Well, I had just gotten the self-timer set when the door swung open and in walked Dr. Android.
Now, to be fair to Dr. Android, we did not get off to a good start. Here’s this woman wearing a face mask (and likely the only face mask he’s seen all day), holding a camera up to her face and looking guilty (because my guilty eyes and my embarrassed eyes look about the same). Add to that the fact that he doesn’t know me from Eve, the last appointment for his shift was supposed to be 2:45 and mine was for 3:15, who knows what kind of colourful characters wander by for his services in the run of a day, and well, no wonder he looked like he thought I made my living from litigation.
Yeah. So.
Dr. Android took exactly six minutes to examine me, including throat check, ear check, lung check, sinus check. He pronounced it a “sinus infection”, even as I was explaining how I get this twice a year, describing my lungs filling with gunk and the all-over body aches and fever. Dr. Android wrote me a prescription for penicillin, and since I get bronchitis enough to know that it would fix me up, no matter what he decided to write down on the paper, I didn’t argue. I just thanked him and went on my way.
Have I mentioned how much I love my regular doctor?
Anyway, the next morning my “sinus infection” was miraculously cleared up (as it usually is after a day or so) and now my lungs were full (as they usually are after a day or so). I also had a headache the likes of which I had not yet seen this millenium. I even slept 22 hours yesterday, which, even for the Napping Queen, was a bit much.
So the question I’ve been getting is do I have H1N1. Well, not officially. Officially, I have a sinus infection (even though we’ve established that my sinuses are clear). And remember — I’m not a doctor. But between working in the educational system and taking classes at a post-secondary institution, I can now pretty much recite the symptoms of H1N1 by heart (and create a reasonable hand-drawn facsimile of the proper hand-washing technique poster). Given that I seem to have almost all of the symptoms, that I know my body well and I’ve never experienced anything quite this intense before, and that the only flu strain circulating right now is the H1N1, let’s just say it wouldn’t surprise me.
Incidentally, the souvenir face mask is still getting lots of use. I’ve been wearing it to bed so that Hubby doesn’t get sick too. I can handle me being sick. I can handle him being sick. But nothing brings out the “SUCK IT UP, PRINCESS!” in me quite like both of us being sick. Fair warning — if you live in this beautiful city, you should all being wearing face masks or risk incurring my wrath.
In all seriousness, though — be well, everyone.